I have been reading a book by Stephen R. Covey The seven habits of highly effective people.  He made a very profound statement in the book I would like to share. " " We must look at the lens through which we see the world, as well as at the world we see, and that the lens itself shapes how we interpret the world" Perceptions are deeply embedded and we must challenge these perceptions.
Improving your character is the only way to see true changes in yourself and enduring happiness. Attitudes and behaviors grow from assumptions. We simply assume the way we see thing that is the way they truly are. Covey states the way we see the problem is the problem. You should care less about what others think about you and more about what they think about themselves.
Proactive language I have to work on this week.
There is nothing I can do.                Let's look for alternatives
That is just the way I am.                  I can choose a diffrent approach
He makes me so mad                         I control my own feelings
They won't allow that                        I will choose an approprriate response
I can't                                                     I choose
I must                                                       I prefer

If only                                                   I will.